Flying With Kids: Tips to Make Your Trip Easier

Keywords: family, flying, plan ahead

By Jeanne Muchnick

It was on a recent flight from New York to Jacksonville, FL that I had an epiphany of sorts. I was watching a mother struggle with her “lap child,” a girl that looked to be about one and a half, without a paid-for seat, who was obviously a handful: she didn’t want to sit on her mom’s lap, refused to suck on a cup during take-off and was endlessly kicking the seat in front of her. (I was thankfully behind her.) I looked over at my two girls, Corey, then eight, and Sydney, then five, busy entertaining themselves with coloring books and Gameboy, not a peep out of them, and turned to my husband with a knowing, gleeful smile.

Once you’ve passed the years of diaper changes, spit-up, bulging carry-on bags and kicking seats, flying with your children takes on a whole new perspective. In fact, these are probably the best travel years of your life. You’re over the nitty-gritty problems/crankiness factor of traveling with preschoolers, and have entered the “twilight” years of flying with kids who can pack their own bags, articulate what they want to eat, understand flight delays, and pretty much entertain themselves.

That doesn’t mean they’ll always be angels. Nor does it mean you can forgo predicting, packing and planning altogether. But it does mean your next flight will be easier. Here, six strategies to keep in mind.

1. Scheduling:

Travel midweek in the early morning on non-peak days (Monday to Wednesday), to avoid crowds (and possibly nab an extra seat). In case of weather or air traffic control delays, these are the flights that will most likely be re-routed or rescheduled. The end-of-the-day flights are often cancelled. Nonstop flights are best so you don’t have to change planes and drag your carry-ons around the airport. If possible, avoid connections. On international trips, try booking so you arrive at your destination in the late afternoon or evening, to adjust to local time easier. (You don’t want to arrive at your destination at 7 a.m. feeling you have to struggle to stay awake in order to beat jet lag.)

1. Seats:

The days of requesting bulkhead (the row just behind first-class) for your youngster are over. Despite the fact that these seats have the most leg room (perfect for crawling babies), you need a place where you can store your carry-on bags in front of you, so your kids have easy access to their stuff. Go with seats as close to the front of plane as possible so you’ll be among the first served meals and drinks, as well as the first people off the plane.

Aisle or window seats are a personal preference. My kids still fight for the window, though I prefer booking the aisle as inevitably someone has to go to the bathroom. Often, we split up: my husband and Sydney in one row; Corey and I directly behind them (or across), and then switch kids on the return flight. This avoids the inevitable sibling squabbles and allows the children to get what they want. Ask about seat configurations when you book — some are three across, or two, or more — and may not accommodate the exact number in your party. Be explicit about the fact that you’re travelling as a family. You also need to be sure that your seat assignments aren’t inadvertently made in an exit row: children under 16 cannot sit here and you risk being asked to move once onboard. Book far in advance for the best seats.

1. What to Pack:

Food, glorious food. Pack healthy: granola bars, raisins, peanut butter crackers, etc., but allow for special treats your kids don’t often get at home: candy necklaces, lollipops, fruit roll-ups, as “ammunition” in case of delays. Electronic games (where would we moms be without a portable dvd player?), cards, paper, diary, coloring books, markers, crayons, stickers, books, IPod, bottled water, extra sweater (in case the plane is cold or to roll up for a pillow) should keep kids occupied and happy. Ask your children to pack their favorite things in a backpack; you can also bring a few inexpensive surprises.

1. In Case of the Fidgets:

Your children need to know ahead of time what is acceptable behavior and what isn’t. Talk to them before you leave for your trip; explain how they might get bored sitting for so long, but that you’ll pack extra books or activities to keep them occupied. Let them know there will be consequences on the ground if they don’t listen. A possible script: “I know how hard it is to sit here but you’ve been so patient up until now and it’s only X more minutes until we land, or until the movie, or meal. Do you think you can handle it?” If they are bothering another passenger, personalize your approach so they better understand what they are doing. Introduce them to the lady whose seat they are kicking. Re-direct their energies, either with a snack, a word game, or by letting them stretch across you.

1. Hitting Turbulence:

Bumpy flights are inevitable, as are the questions your kids will pepper you with. Stay calm. If you say things one way, but act another, they will sense your fear. Your best strategy: discuss the mechanics of flying and how planes often hit rough air, just as cars hit bumps in the road. An option: “Sometimes planes go up and down with the wind and clouds and that’s part of the ride. The pilots know how to adjust the plane; it’s all a normal part of flying and there’s nothing to be afraid of.” If your child presses you, tell the truth: yes, sometimes planes crash but that’s a rare occurrence and is not going to happen. See how calm everyone is? If possible, call a flight attendant over to further explain.

1. Short vs. Long Flight Strategies:

Again, it’s all in the preparation. Explain ahead of time how long the flight will be; get your children involved by looking at maps, showing them your travel path. When booking your flight, consider length vs. layover. Going to London from Washington, DC, for example, means you can fly and arrive on the same day, but that means flying DC-NY-London and entails checking in and hanging out at two airports. Depending on the age of your children and their stamina, that may or may not be a good option. The same strategy works for short flights.

Some kids can sleep anywhere: others can’t. Some parents find their children tend to sleep better when it’s dark outside. Others try to stick to regular routines as much as possible. On flights that don’t look crowded, stake out a row of seats and have one parent sit there. If someone claims that seat, fine. If not, you have another option for separating siblings, or a place to lie down and rest. You know your children best: think about their temperament when making your plans.

Jeanne Muchnick is a multi-tasking mama who’s been writing about her two girls ever since they were born. She’s the former Editor of Baby Magazine turned InTown Senior Editor whose parenting stories have also appeared in a variety of national consumer magazines including Woman’s Day, Healthy Kids, Parents, Parenting, Pregnancy, FamilyFun and more. She lives in Larchmont, NY with her two girls: Corey, 14 and Sydney, 11, her husband, Mark and her flat coated retriever, Chip.